Chuck Norris is 69 Today

I’m not doing the jokes.

Nope.

Not doing it.

I don’t care how funny it is if they change the name of his home state to Chucklahoma as his birthday present. I’m not doing it.

Yes, the number 69 is inherently funny. Still not going to say that’s the number of roundhouses he pumps out per minute (rpm).

And I’m definitely not going to say that he’s only 69 by our feeble method of measuring time because he’s too cool to age. Lame. No.

And you know what I’m mostly not ever going to even remotely say? Chuck Norris didn’t turn 69 today, 69 turned Chuck Norris. Because that – no, actually that’s hella funny.

Happy birthday, sir.

PS: The Barrens just asploded…

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